...and now this...

Change is good, it really is. Although I like it much better when I instigate it rather than be forced into it. My poor Hubby, however, creature of habit that he is, is easily blown away by any deviant in his routine. It was nine years ago that I switched the utensil drawer and the silverware drawer around, they were side by side, and I hear about it to this day. Every time he takes one of the the prescription medications he is on, that would be twice a day, I hear bout how wrong Target pharmacy was to switch over to their new colored bottles. So has our pharmacist. And Target has received many e-mail also. I now just automatically switch his pills over to the old uncolored bottles before I give him his refills just so I don't have to listen to it anymore.

Other than this blog, here Are some of the things I am personaly going to try to change.

When I run up the stairs in the morning, I will no longer do the "Rocky" victory dance-jump with my fists held high up in the air. It's only thirteen steps.

When I am alone in the elevator at work, I no longer will sing Aerosmiths "Love in an elevator". Thank you Human Resource department for letting me know the elevator is not sound proof.

I will stop tilting my head to one side while I brush my hair just to see how much longer my hair will be in three months.

I will cut back on re-naming everyone I know. No more working with Basil Faulty, Olive Your Pies and Jackie Tran. I will not live by Sam Hill or Dawain the Tub. I will adress Mr. Rodgers at the grocery store as Jon and the counter monkey at the convience store will now be only known as Foopah Mama, er, I mean Liz.

I will eat the entire damn pint of Hagen Daas and not leave the last spoonful in the bottom trying to make myself look less like a pig.

I will no longer tell my husband, "You are so much calmer than our pool boy", after sex.

I will no longer make up imaginary conversations for postal workers when I spot one delivering mail. "Here you go, proper Miss Spinster Church Lady, here's this months issue of Pantsless Cowboy Mangravy Monthly", and "You call that a dog? Try and bite me will ya, I can fit all of you and your little cat buddy in my mouth", are now things of the past.

No more full volume drum solo's to Fleetwood Mac's Tusk on my steering wheel as I am attempting a left hand turn.

I will try not to pull up my shirt and stand sideways in front of my mirror to fool myself into thinking my stomach is flat.

I will stop telling the kids strories of being raised by wolves. Only because my sister told them the truth when they asked her for more stories.

I will stop petting the picture of The Rock that hangs on my fridge door and saying, "Good morning baby", in front of my Hubby.

I will stop licking the rim of every glass before I take a drink to aviod leaving my lipstick on it. I'm just gonna drink straight out of the bottle.

I will work on my cupboard door obsession. Even if every square inch of my kitchen is spotless, I will not fixate on open cupboard doors. They are my pet peeve. Oh hell, who am I fooling. I will always scream like a maniac when you leave them open. I just won't feel guilty about it.

I will contine to talk to my pets, I just won't wait for a responce.

I will stop pretending like I have famous and creative boyfriends. Like David Bowie once told me-

I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

Thank you for writting me that song David.